Diary of a MILF in Progress

Some things just get scary

The Elder Son has always been a stubborn, challenging type.  He was sitting breech for the final couple months of my pregnancy, despite many attempts on my part to get him to flip over.  In the weeks leading up to my due date, we scheduled an ECV to try to get him properly situated.  Even with much pushing from the doctor, he who was said to be the best in the area for the baby flippin' deed, Elder Son would not budge.  So, we did a c-section, and he was not pleased at being yanked from the womb.

Fast forward a few year, to kindergarten.  Many calls from the school when he decided that his desires did not match up with the instructions in the classroom.  Angst galore, culiminating in some testing last year to make a diagnosis of ADHD-hyperactive type (with inklings of ODD and some anxiety).  But we started on meds, and things got better.

Until a couple weeks ago, when Elder Son's disagreements with the aftercare staff caused him to run away, off school grounds.  There are few things that hang in your head more ominously than having "We've just called the police.  Get here as soon as you can," be the last things you hear in a phone call.  And last week, when the school called to say that his anger at another student, because of a disagreement over the rules of the chess game, if some accounts are to be believed, he lashed out to the point that one of the teachers had to visit the doctor to have the scratches and bites examined.  Five day suspension.

The last week has been a whirlwind of medication adjustments and conversations in which we try to figure out what is going on in that little eight-year-old brain.  And the next few days of the suspension  will be spent trying new medicine and calling more doctors.  Words like "neurologist" and "bipolar disorder" and "intensive outpatient program" and "antipsychotic prescription" can be unnerving.  Even more so when the word "pediatric" gets added to the mix.

Very busy and important...

Sorry for the cobwebs.  Big meeting next weekend, and I've been madly preparing for it.  The worst is over- my briefing materials were bound and sent today, and I've got a few days set aside early next week for slide presentation editing.

But first! I'm going to NY this weekend.  Tim, he of the stolen show, needed a female chaperone for the theater trip, and I was happy to oblige.  So, I get to test out my own acting skillz (see how I did that?  Talkin' like the kids do so as to seem relatable to my charges?) by pretending to be a responsible adult for a few days.  More importantly, I get to see a show without paying for it out of pocket (if I end up watching over any kids who want to see a second show, I'll have to pay for that one, but the show that we all go to on Saturday night is my 'pay' for being on chaperone duty), I get to visit the Met, I'm going to stroll through Strawberry Fields, and I get to eat breakfast at Tom's Diner before we come home (cue the Suzanne Vega).

Later, taters.  Maybe I'll have pictures when I get back.

This is better than cable

There's a lot of shit coming dangerously close to hitting the fan lately, but I'm not gonna bore you with it.  Instead, I'm going to relay to you the assorted pieces of Drah-Mah that I get to watch from the outskirts.  Watching it all is so much more entertaining than living it, don'tcha know.

The Husband works at a private school in DC, and the various fine arts folks at both his school and the assorted other private high schools in the DC metropolitan area interact sporadically throughout the year.  The theater director at Husband's school, we'll call him "Tim" (mostly because that's really his name), in his various professional interactions with his peers around the Beltway, shared his intentions for the show schedule for the year, culminating in the Spring performance of [Dana cringes in horror] "High School Musical 2."  HSM2 is a good money maker.  Yes, it's an insipid piece of dreck to theatrically and musically inclined adults, but the kids love it.  When the school did HSM a few years ago, they sold out every night and got rave reviews from the under-18 crowd.  Doing a popular show like HSM2 allowed that Tim could do some meatier, but less well known, shows earlier in the year.  He got a chance to choose some straight plays that gave his older students a chance to really showcase their talents, even though the shows themselves might not have been bringing droves of people to the audience each night. 

Imagine Tim's surprise when he finds out that he hasn't gotten the rights to HSM2.  Why didn't he get the rights?  Because the young upstart director at the school a few exits up the highway liked the idea of doing HSM2 so much that she applied for the rights, and her show would take place first (late April instead of early May), so she got the rights for the geographical area.  Despite the fact that she'd been talking about doing "Man of La Mancha," and Tim was actually being very helpful in offering to help with customes and set pieces and such (since their school did that show a few years back) to save her some work and money.  Bitch stole our show. 

"But, wait," you might be saying.  "Doesn't this give Tim the chance to do a show in which the songs and dialog don't make him want to poke hot needles in his ears?"  Yes, perhaps, except that it's late enough in the game that a lot of rights have already been spoken for, and we are down to two choices- an affordable show (non-period costumes, small band for the music) for which the talent pool of students doesn't really support him getting the female lead he needs OR a classic show for which he's got what he needs acting/vocally, but will be much more difficult to pay for in terms of costumes, sets, possibly having to hire some musicians... 

Personally, I'm on board with either show they do, theater snob that I am, and was not looking forward to HSM2.  But I'm making a voodoo doll of Miss Chippy Director, and I might just be hoping that her Troy and her Gabby take "break a leg" literally right before opening night. 

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So, we got this new VP a couple months ago, and for some reason, they did not hire or appoint an assistant for him.  Instead, they tapped one of the exisiting senior support people. one who has a full time job supporting a senior executive, and added the new VP's support stuff to what she's already got going on. Now, the new VP is heading a new division, made up of groups that used to be under the umbrella of the senior executive that this woman supports.  So, in essence, she's supporting pretty much the same big-old group she used to, just with an added boss.  And she's done the work for the past two months, but takes whatever opportunity she can find to remind the masses that she has two bosses, and essentially two jobs (since every other VP in the company has his or her own assistant).  She's Jewish and has kids, and let me say that she's got the Jewish mother martyrdom down to a science.

Well, this week, the new VP decided that he would have one of the lower level admins in his division take over the day to day support.  High level assistant is free to focus on her original boss and her orignial division and is back to only have to do one job for the paycheck she gets.   Good for her, right?  Oh, no.  Now she's passive-aggressively speculating as to whether the lower level admin is going to be able to keep up with all that is required to properly support the VP, and lamenting how difficult the transition will be because so many meetings and projects are already underway.  She's worried about being shut out of the professional relationships she's developed in the past few months.  She's insulted that folks think that she needed to have her responsibilities stripped away.

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It's fun to laugh at other people's angst, ain't it?

I owe a good thing today, don't I?

Amidst the ice storms and the crap-ass economy and the fact that I am so freaking hungry that I could eat my total daily points allotment before noon everyday and the knowledge that my husband is going to be cursing the Super Bowl all damned day on Sunday (what with him hating the Steelers and all) and finding out that MD is excluded from the online needlework contest (after I had designed, knit, and photographed a new poncho), there are some shining moments.

• I had a review with my boss this morning, from which I emerged totally unscathed
• The aforementioned lunch at the Greek place
• Some dude from the customer service department commented that it looks like I've lost a lot of weight, so the last six months with Weight Watchers have not been for naught
• The aforementioned poncho turned out really nicely, so I might be able to sell it for a decent price
• The Elder Son called me downstairs to the TV room last night to demonstrate his new disco dance/break dance moves.  I only wish I had captured it all on video.
• Happy hour is only a day away

The sacrifices I make for my career

There's a board meeting coming up in about 6 weeks.  The members have indicated that they don't want to do dinner at the hotel after the first day of committe meetings, so I asked our meeting planner, Rick, (aka, my new gay boyfriend) for a list of company approved local venues.  I narrowed the list to the two closest ones that I like (steakhouse or Greek), since I don't want to hear bitching about having to spend 30 minutes riding to get to dinner, neither of which I've used for board meetings in awhile.  I even indicated to Rick that he should choose which one sounded better to him (he's been to neither of them), just in case his schedule allowed him to accompany us.  Instead, he followed up with a request that the two of us do a 'site visit' for lunch tomorrow, since he needs to confirm that the semi-private room is acceptable as a venue.  Hmmm, I get to eat some souvlaki or spanikopita, and the company picks up the check?  I can handle that assignment.

It's the Soshi SunTech RTS3 with the built-in data back and parabolic strobe reflector

I've been thinking.  Which is kind of scary in and off itself, I suppose.  But here's what I'm thinking- I'm kind of a downer sometimes, even though I try to find humor in the periodic insanity of my life.  So, I'm inspired by one of my favorite scenes in the Sorkinverse (4:30-5:30 is the part that kicks my ass), I have decided that I need to find One.Good.Thing to look at every week.  I'm trying to decide on a snappy title (Good Thing Thursday?  Yeah, I know, don't quit the day job.)

Things were pretty craptastic for our fair Dana at this point, and at the nadir of her day (an exploding strobe may seem pretty minor, but it was indeed the breaking point), all she needed was that one.good.thing.

So stay tuned.  Somewhere in the midst of my snark and my whining and my bitchiness, I can find my own Isaac Jaffe moment to put it all back into perspective.

If all I do is lie, can you believe me when I say I am lying to you?

This has got to be the funniest thing I have ever seen about the believability of internet videos.

Seriously.  I don't even care anymore whether this dude really is going around the world and dancing like a dork.  The original video made me chuckle, and the explanations make me laugh even harder, so it's all good.

Holi-daze

Highlights: Mad Men season 1 on DVD.  The Younger Son responding to "We're rolling" during the prep to record his rendition of "Jingle Bells" with him actually dropping to the floor and rolling over a few times.  The in-laws gave the kids a Nintendo DS on Christmas Eve, so The Husband and I got to sleep until we woke up on Christmas morning (when was the last time a pile of presents and stuffed stockings remained untouched by a ten year old, a seven year old and a five year old?!)  My mom found me some bee-you-tiful handspun/hand-dyed yarn that may be just enough to make a poncho.  My brother and his girlfriend gave me wine.  The grab bag gifts we ended up with from my Nanna's house party included both booze and an espresso maker.  MIL actually paid attention to my attempts to change my size and she bought me gift cards instead of clothing.  The Christmas dinner I cooked was good (no overdone meat! no mushy vegetables! cookies were an outstanding dessert!) and ended up ready at the time I had estimated it would.

Lowlights: Duplicate gifts (the kids got 3 copies of "Horton Hears a Who," since The Husband didn't listen when I told him weeks ago that my aunt had already gotten it, Husband checked out my Amazon wishlist and decided to buy the exact two books his brothers had already chosen for me), although The Elder Son was not at all upset by getting two of the exact same goalie shirts from both me and my sister.  I had to dump out almost a whole bottle of Propel water, since BIL didn't bother to ask me where in our kitchen to find the kind of flavored water I know his crazy-ass girlfriend likes (instead of him going rooting around in the basement pantry looking for something for her to drink), and she took a couple sips from the bottle before deciding she didn't want it.  The Golden Child (i.e., my brother) got caught in some traffic and expecting a delay on the way to my parents' house, so Mom called me to tell me to hold off on bringing the kids over (she said she didn't want to have to entertain them while trying to finish making dinner), only to have the traffic let up and Goldy and his girlfriend to arrive at their scheduled time, causing Mom to call me back to find out when I was going to arrive ("Haven't you left yet? They're here!") 

All in all, a good Christmas.  I'm hoping that 2009 dawns happy for all.  See ya on the flip side.

Hair today, gone tomorrow?

I'm thinking of donating my hair to Locks of Love.  Some other organizations require a smaller ponytail length for donation (8 inches vs. the ten LoL asks for) but won't take color treated hair. My hair is colored, not not bleached, so it's kosher.

Here's the selfish part- in order to grow my hair long enough to cut off ten inches and still have enough hair to not get a super short cut ('cause if I get a super short cut, Husband will be so goddamned whiny about how he hates when I "get my hair cut like a boy," even though I have not had anything resembling a masculine haircut since I was about six), I think I might be waiting until almost summertime to cut it off.  Do I really want to deal with the hassles htat accompany loooong hair for the next 5-6 months, and do I want to do a major change in my appearance right before (a) my yearly conference in Athens and (b) my high school reuinion?

Hi, my name is Dana, and I'm shallow enough that I might not help cancer stricken kids because I don't want to risk being uncute.

Christmas countdown

Christmas is three days away.  The cards are printed, signed and addressed, but sitting on the desk in my computer room where I accidentallly left them this morning.  If I remember to buy stamps today, I can mail them first thing tomorrow.  I have only a few things left for the household gifts- stocking stuffers for Husband and the offspring, a couple ornaments for Daughter and Younger Son (I've already gotten Elder Son's ornament for they year).  If the Amazon orders arrive as planned (and I get my ass in gear to finish my SIL's knit/crocheted tank top), everyone on my side of the family will have gifts on Thursday and Friday; if not,  IOU's will be issued as needed.  The outstanding gifts are for local folks, so I can deliver them within the Christmas season one way or the other.  Husband is home, cleaning the house (and, I'm sure, practicing his martyred speech about how no one other than he gives a shit about the state of the house).  The tree is up and decorated.

Most importantly, I have copious amounts of wine suitable for serving after we return from dinner with my in-laws (an outing with may or may not include my crazy-ass BIL's crazier-ass semi-girlfriend) and for serving with the Christmas dinner I fix for my parents and for consuming whilst wrapping presents in the wee hours of the morning (probably while watching my DVD of "It's a Wonderful Life"); and I have a choice of vanilla rum, light rum, dark rum or Kahlua to add to my cup of the homemade hot chocolate we enjoy on Christmas morning.  I'm done with antibiotics, it's time for Dana to get her holiday drink on!